October 14, 2007, Sunday

Too many people asked us about mom’s MRI results. Let me clear it up here.

MRI did not show anything, at least according to a few people who have seen it. But the doctor still suggested further follow up with specialist right away.

However, we have no concern at all. Be honest, even if this leads to something, why should we be worry about it? Don’t we know better now (after experiencing what happened over past 20 months) that everything is in God’s hands?

“Nothing to worry about.” was what I said to whoever asked.

A conversation with one colleague before weekend,

“Ready for the weekend?” I asked.

“Oh, we will be very busy, I got aging parents, need to take care of grandchild…” he replied.

“Grandchild?” I was a little surprised because he looks pretty young to me, “You don’t look…”

“Well, thanks you.” He continued, “I can enjoy grandchild so much. I guess I am more relaxing than their parents. I have raised my children and now they are parents themselves. They have grown up without much trouble. It was easy…”

I smiled and quickly walked away. I wanted to tell him not everybody is as lucky as he is. But I did not. However, for most people, he was right. For me, raising kid was the most difficult thing I am facing, and I have failed once already. Lydia died.

Another conversation with another colleague before weekend,

“I heard you are retiring soon.” I asked.

“I will be sixty five soon.” He was pretty happy to say that.

“Wow, social security, pension, 401K, and you can still work part time. You will work less and you can have more income than now.” I appraised him.

“Well, you will get there too.” He looked at me and smiled.

“Well, you don’t know how young I am, it’s still far away for me.” I joked and we both laughed.

But I was very sad. I simply could not wait to get to that point. Life is too long for me.

After I shared with mom about these conversations, she said,

“Face it. That is it. What happened is already happened. It’s now up to you to enjoy the rest of your life.”

She is right. There is something just hit me while we talked. It’s no longer a “One day at a time” attitude. I need to enjoy everyday even though everyday is still difficult...

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.