Changed
By Esther Wu
My mother, my teacher, my father, my pastor, my best friend…my little
sister. My
brain runs through a quick list of the multitudes of people who have shaped me
into who I am today. The spinner rapidly comes to rest upon my little sister,
Lydia Grace Wu, her miraculous story, and how her life… changed mine.
Lydia was just nine when she
was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor- with cancer. She ended up spending
many of her next months in and out of the hospital getting radiation and
chemotherapy treatments. She was the sister with whom I always identified with
most out of my 3 younger sisters. Always lively, energetic, vibrant, incredibly
intelligent, and willing to try new things. Whenever a suggestion was brought
up, Lydia was the first to speak up and enthusiastically support it, or reject
it with firm logic. It was impossible to watch as she lost all her hair, her
never-ending energy, her walking ability, her speaking ability, and eventually,
her life. It was unthinkable that the splitting headaches that signified the
beginning had led to this in a short 7 months.
Yet
despite all that Lydia did lose, what is important is what she kept and gave.
My family has always been very religious; our faith, Christianity will forever
be the center of our lives. It is something my sisters and I have been raised
up in. It was always second nature to believe in a loving God when life was
smooth and satisfactory. But it is quite a different matter when it is not. All
the same, Lydia set an example for our entire family and all those who knew
her. She showed love that never failed to truly everyone. Her unceasing faith
and hope that her Jesus would heal her inspired all around her. She really did
have more faith than any of us. Yes, the Bible said that all Christians should
seek to have the faith of a child, but Lydia gave me a whole new perspective. I
had always felt that if put to the test, my faith would stand. To see my sister
of nine years face this life-threatening disease with such simple acceptance
and trust in her Father, put me to shame. I often asked myself, If I were the one with cancer, what would I
be like? I hoped that my attitude and faith could be half my sister’s. I
have no idea of the pain, frustration, and sadness that she must have felt, but
I do know that I probably would not have been able to handle it all. God
humbled me through my little sister. Reminding me once again that I have so
much room for growth in Him. And also showing me that I have been so blessed,
and I need to appreciate all of it always, for He can give and take away. And
He will.
These
last several months, nearing a year now after her death, have been just as
difficult as when she was sick. The pain ebbs and attacks, and ebbs again, but
will never go away. Now I face grieving parents whose lives have been shaken
and many ideas and opinions dramatically altered. Depression now looms over us,
a shadow that had never been there before. I can not yet see the light at the
end of the tunnel, but I know there must be one. God is holding the hands of
everyone in the family as we blindly and weakly struggle toward that light. He
will bring us out stronger than ever when we are ready.
If anything, Lydia has
taught me to hold on, to trust God, and to let Him guide the way especially in
the wake of disaster. My little sister has displayed the true meaning of
courage and bravery as she faced with very little complaint an illness
determined to take her life. She manifested what real hope can be, as she never
gave up believing that she would be healed. Her love for all was unceasing even
as she lay upon the drab, overly white hospital bed. And her inspiring and
persistent faith spurs me to grow in my own. I now have a new model, a
beautiful hero. I try to face each day with the same attitude and energy that
Lydia always reflected. And my life will never be the same.