June 17, 2007, Sunday

It’s father’s day. One girl mentioned briefly this morning. That was it. They knew I still dislike any celebration. Without Lydia, all the holiday only brought more sorrow and sadness.

We have been in Hawaii for one week. For sure we had good time touring around. However, many times, I have to pray to the Lord very hard to help me physically and emotionally, and cheer me up in order to keep up the good spirits of the girls. I am surprised I could not truly enjoy vacation yet.

In a few occasions, the situation became terrible, because my grief over the loss Lydia carried on even on Hawaii, the so-called paradise on the planet. That was really miserable for mom and girls.

We prayed a lot. So far, the trip has been smooth enough, no big hick ups. We felt that Lydia might be with us and help the prayer efforts.

When we were in Pearl Harbor, I looked at the massive loss of young soldiers at the dawn of WWII. It did give me different perspective of tragedy. Now I have lost my own child. Thinking of many parents who lost their precious children. I am not alone.

We are heading to Taiwan tomorrow.