May 23, 2007, Wednesday

It’s mom’s birthday.

It’s a very difficult day for me, since it’s a special day.

I’ve tried my best keep it as normal as possible. I know mom and girls would like to have some sort of birthday celebration. I tried my best to control my own grieving and to buy a little present for mom and prepared a birthday cake for mom.

It’s still a busy night. Deborah has a school concert at night.

Toward the end of the day, before midnight (finally we had time to eat the cake), I told all the girls, including mom, I do not want to have any birthday celebration of my own. The reason? My birthday falls exactly between Lydia’s birthday and the day she died. I don’t think I could ever celebrate my birthday again.

I really hope the end time can come soon. If people do not like this idea, then there are several reasons:

1. Do not understand the Scripture. This is what we should do.

2. Not saved yet.

3. Enjoy the earthly life too much.

4. Never had any true suffering yet.

May peace be with you.