I remember when we bickered like
fools,
Hitting each other, screaming ‘til
the sun went down.
Then when we made up, the peace
echoed,
Laughter resounding from wall to
wall.
I remember when you interceded for
me,
Lively mouth jumping in, a
backboard for the verbal bullets.
You transformed stiff tension into
hearty agreement,
The Cold War into a Hawaiian luau.
I remember when I looked into your
eyes and saw myself,
Your words and actions my living
mirror.
My pride when you achieved success
yet again,
Proving your intelligence,
athleticism, and kindness.
And I remember when the laughter
turned to moans,
You groaned from the blinding pain
squeezing you.
I rolled my eyes, saying you must
be faking,
But it went just far too long.
I remember when the scans finally
came in,
Something abnormal they said was
growing.
The terror that consumed, swept me
from head to foot.
Fear and pain licking up all
within, my heart and soul.
I remember the never-ending
surgery, hour upon hour wait.
The little girl who emerged who
was not my sister,
Who could not talk, could not
walk,
Spunk and energy gone, agony
setting in.
I remember your brave face
confronting treatment plans,
Lips echoing doctors’ words, names
of multi-syllabic medicines.
Your bright nature seeping back
in, dispelling the gloom.
Intelligent questions about
everything you must go through.
I remember the treatments, day
upon day of killing rays,
Rays that tore your body apart,
murdered your once flawless immune system.
Still you kept up the hope, though
exhaustion eroded you away.
Pushing through the impossible
schedule of healing.
I remember your impatience to get
out of the hospital,
Well knowing my birthday was
coming soon.
Anxious to get me a present before
the day passed,
Concerned about me amidst your
struggle for life.
I remember when you looked in the
mirror and cried at what looked back.
Each night you brushed your hair,
with strands and tufts raining down.
Still when your hair had bid
adieu, and a hat came to stay,
Your bald pate was beautiful,
shining as if to say it’s ok.
I remember when you cried out in
the night, as pain attacked,
Your piercing screams shaking me
from stressed slumber.
I put my hand on your forehead,
massaging, whispering comfort,
Dozing as I willed you to enter
your shallow sleep.
And I remember when you took a
turn for the worse,
Each day you talked less, ate
nothing, and the bathroom was impossible.
The doctors had no hope, they said
the end was near.
But you never lost faith, even as
the pain became worse.
I remember as your spirit inspired
thousands.
Many we’ve yet to meet, other we
don’t know about.
Your last coherent words, I love
you, Don’t let me go.
Enduring love for those around
you, even those you’d never meet.
And I remember when the dreaded
words came too soon,
The shock that electrocuted me,
shaking me to the ground.
Not quite registering in my
frozen, resistant brain,
But bouncing from wall to wall,
inflicting endless sorrow.
I remember when I knelt by your
bed,
The last bed you would ever know,
the sterilized hospital bed.
Pent up tears finally poured,
heart acknowledging what my mind yet could not.
Each drop staining the hatefully
white sheets.
I remember when the casket was
rolled slowly into sight,
All saw the 10-year-old lying
before their eyes.
My fingers grazed the face that
once mirrored mine,
Now lifeless, cold, old beyond
your years, yet at peace.
I remember when the lid was shut,
Locking away my mirror, my pride,
my sister away.
I stood upon the stage looking
down at the hundreds there to remember you,
And the words began to flow.
Faith unending, Hope unfailing,
love always enduring.
You lived it all. And you are
still living it all,
Within me, within us,
Within each and every who heard
and will hear your story.
You are my pride, my joy, my
little sister.
You are my hero.
And I remember.