April 12, 2007, Thursday

Everyday continues to be a challenge.

But the Lord has given me the strength to get through everyday. The strength to get out of bed (often very difficult after only a few hours of sleep), take kids to school, go to work, go to a lot of work and church meetings, teach Sunday schools, lead bible studies, to be in the crowd when I rather to stay alone…

God is good. Without Him, it is not possible.

Easter is only several days ago. I am still strongly comforted by the resurrection of Christ Jesus.

Now, I realized the power of death, the ultimate enemy possessed with tremendous damage power, to the human beings. It’s worse than divorce, depression, loss of health, relationship, job, self esteem, confidence… As matter of fact, the death of loved one can trigger many of above.

Death conquers every human being. We look so frail in front of death.

Of course, in human history, there have been so many theory, philosophy, explanation, or ignorance to make us lose focus about life and death. The death is so inevitable, and yet few are ready for it.

Some commit suicide. Again, it’s because of lack of knowledge about death, and fear of life and death even consequence of death (and life).

The resurrection gives us ultimate hope. That is only one we need. Nothing else. The only hope we ever need, no matter what happens. Because death is too powerful, it shuts down everything about the person who died. Thank God, yes, the Lord, He is more powerful, who has RISEN from death. He also gave us the promise of resurrection to be with him eternally.

Lydia’s death strengthens my faith to different level of understanding and longing. And, I hold that hope a lot tighter than ever.

For people who don’t care or think otherwise, I really do not understand them. Of course, I am sure the same comment applied to me from them.

Mom and I went to the school district meeting tonight. After the meeting, a lovely elder lady (I met her at Lydia’s funeral, mom has known her for sometime), a school board member, asked us if we are doing all right. She expressed the importance of value and faith. She shared the same faith with us. She is so happy that we are part of the school family.

She still keeps Lydia’s memorial booklet (with Lydia’s picture) on her desk. I am sure she looked at Lydia a lot. During our conversation, all of sudden, she said to me,

“I can see Lydia from your face.”

Of course, Lydia looked like me. Although sweet, it’s very hard for us to hear that. Mom broke down right away, and right there. Mom hugged her tightly and cried badly.

This is the life with joy and sorrow, yet the Lord is with us all the time. With tears, yes, but that is exactly why it’s so previous to have the hope for the eternity.