March 11, 2007, Sunday

Over the weekend, while Deborah’s school musical is still going on every evening, I was able to attend Esther’s high school father/daughter dance. It was good to get to know more of Esther’s friends and their fathers. Most of them knew about Lydia, so it was pretty safe environment.

A few occasions, got to know some new friends, I was asked if we attended last year or how many children do I have type of questions.

“Oh, we were not able to come last year. One of my daughters was sick around this time. She passed away later. So, we get to come this year…”

“I have…” I stopped for a second, “Actually, I had four daughters, one of them passed away recently…”

“I am very sorry.” I heard that several times that night.

“It’s OK.” I smiled.

Tell the truth, it was not pleasant for me and for the other person. No wonder people who had experienced terrible loss just limited their exposure to the outside world. It was just plainly hard and awkward.

There were non-stopped church meetings all day long today. To serve in the church, usually required extra patience, love, and understanding than in the secular organizations. I had no problem to do that before. Now, I felt drained, and need to take extra effort to keep up. Tired (lack of sleep) and frustrated (people are so stubborn, me too, I guess), and depressed was what I felt in the meetings.

Well, I survived through all of them and nobody had noticed anything. And I was able to get support and comfort after the meetings while sharing what I felt to a minister and a fellow Christian sister.

God is always good. He is here with us and watching over us all the time.