March 6, 2007, Tuesday

I asked Deborah what is the major difference of our family now without Lydia being around.

“Less talk.” She said.

“Do you feel weird that she is not here anymore?”

She nodded.

I also asked Esther the same question in the separate occasion.

“Less talk, less conversation, less communication.” She replied.

Yes, indeed, Lydia was the strong glue which bounded the entire family together nicely. She was nice, kind, energetic, and loved to take care of others. (Nosy? Oh, I miss her so much.) She wanted to be part of everything in the family.

Now God has taken that glue away. It’s a very tough lesson for us. Everybody is stressed out from this abnormally hugely tremendous loss. Mom and dad are grieving terribly and very differently. That caused a lot of tension. Let it go by itself, the family is going to fall apart. No wonder people said that the death of the child would be easily followed by the divorce, with broken family and broken hearts.

Thank God that the Christians, the children of God are not allowed to divorce. (I can now see that is truly an easy way out. It seems it would be less painful and very tempting. And of course I know it’s a lie.) It’s absolutely against God’s will. Don’t even think about it or talk about it, no matter how difficult the situation is. The devil is working very hard to attack us here. And the devil is very powerful and very cruel. While our hearts are bleeding, we need the armors from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:11)

Thank God that the first six months have passed. People said it’s the most dangerous period. Although I do not feel any easier at all, with God’s grace, we WILL go on.

“He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’

For Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9,10)