November 18, 2006, Saturday

We had piano recital today. It’s the annual event for all four girls. We used to watch all four of them play piano every year around November. It was a lot of fun to watch them, all four of them, playing piano, and I would video taping their playing for later review. However, one of four did not play today, and she will be absent forever…

During the recital, I really could not concentrate. The picture of Lydia playing piano kept coming to my mind. A skinny girl, but was very into the music and always played sincerely. I was tearful several times. Lydia continued occupying my mind all the moments.

However, I thank the Lord that I have three girls playing today, and that is truly a blessing. Not every family could have privilege for their children to learn piano. To be able to financially afford is one thing, to be able to spend the effort to practice and stick to it is just more challenging. For this, Lydia could do the best job, although she was very young. And that is inspiring.

After recital, we went to Lydia’s grave. There were a lot of rains recently. Some mud got on Lydia’s marker, so mom and three girls use paper towels to clean it up. I got emotional again while taking the picture.

Some friends told me not go the Lydia’s grave to grieve too frequent, and it will hurt my body. All I can say is, it’s very important to us. Not going to visit the grave is just not helping.

Later, we did another annual event which was a lot lot more difficult for me. We went to the photo studio to take the family portrait.

Before Deborah was born, it’s been our tradition to take family portrait around Thanksgiving/Christmas time. We hang all the pictures on the wall of the family room, more than a dozen of them up to now. Started with only three people (mom, dad, and Esther) in the picture, then, four people, then five people for two years, then six people all the way to year 2005. All girls grew bigger every year, and mom and dad, of course, became older year after year. What I could not bear is that this year’s portrait is going to be only five people in the picture. However, mom insisted that tradition should continue. So, we went. But it’s very difficult experience for me.

After picture taking was done and while we were picking the pictures, I show the young lady who works in the studio our previous family portrait.

“There was one girl missing. Where is she?” asked the young lady.

“She passed away two months ago.” I said.

“May I know why? If that is OK?”

“Cancer, brain tumor.” I replied.

Mom quickly noticed a cross necklace the young lady was wearing, and gave her Lydia’s wristband and encourage her to read Lydia’s story…

I have to admire mom. She used every opportunity to share Lydia’s story. Like today, in piano recital reception, and in the portrait studio, she talked to quite a few people, and hope they could check the web site.

Wow, mom is so strong. For me, I did not enjoy the picture taking and I wanted it finished as soon as possible. In the recital reception, I was only able to talk to a handful of people, and most of them were acquaintances and good friends.

At the end of day, I thank God for everything today. Truly, it was fun and we got a lot of things done.

It’s another day, and we are one day closer to meet the Lord. And that is also worthy of feeling good and joyful.