August 17, 2006, Thursday

Last night, after I finished the updates, I had a lot of hope that Lydia would start to get better. Actually, she did. Overnight, she woke up quite a few times and even said some stuff that made sense such as "I don’t feel good." She even recognized mom and dad. We were overjoyed.

However, from this morning all the way until now, about midnight, Lydia has been sleeping and is not able to be awakened. Mom and dad tried the entire day. She just kept sleeping.

When doctors and nurses came to ask us if we needed anything, we just shook our heads. They patted our shoulders and walked away quickly.

We cried, cried, and cried, and looked at Lydia. Although she is right in front of us, she seemed so distant.

We recalled when Lydia was a baby (she always had super cute cheeks), when she was a toddler, her first day of school, and family vacations.... Many, many great memories hit us like huge waves. We were totally torn.

In the evening, we arranged a ride for grandparents and all three siblings to come to help. Esther, Deborah, and Priscilla, all three, simultaneously tried to wake up Lydia. They spent hours, doing everything they could think of. They talked to her, sang to her, touched her, moved her around, squeezed her hand and cheek, and massaged her head and body. Nothing worked. She did not open her eyes. She only moaned, and waved her hands around, and tried to pull out the tubes on her body with her eyes closed.

Lydia, my dear daughter, I love you so much, more than my life. I can not bear it. This is just too much pain for me to continue surviving.

Oh, Lord, please show your mercy.

It’s so hard to continue to go on…