February 15, 2007, Thursday

It’s almost six months, I went back to the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital oncology floor (the dreadful 5^th floor) for the very first time.

I went to visit Esther’s good friend who is receiving chemotherapy treatment. We have been praying for them. Today, I decided to visit them…

It was not easy.

I shivered while passing the hallway of the fifth floor. Looking at the vending machine Lydia tried so hard to reach (using walker) during her last days, my heart beat almost stopped. It was hard, very hard for me to stay there a little bit longer. I quickly arrived at the patient’s room without looking around (I am so familiar with everything there). With God’s grace, I did not see any doctors or nurses I knew. That will be again difficult…

Met the lovely girl and her mom. I gave them little gifts three girls spent hours to make last night and one Lydia’s favorite collection. Their spirits were great. I was amazed. We talked for some time.

“Life is ...” the mom said.

“Life is difficult.” I kind of interrupted her, “And life is meant to be hard.”

“This hard?” She looked at me.

I did not say anything, but nodded in my mind.

Although difficult, they are bravely facing it and fighting with strength.

Before my visit, I was scared to death to go back to the hospital. Also, seeing others suffer, made our suffering even worse.

But, the girl and her mom lighted up my day with their very positive attitude.

God is good, really good.

And our sincere prayers continue to be with the brave girl and the family…

With only single digit degrees weather, Lydia’s grave marker is covered with ice and snow. We still see her sweet smile.

Lydia got lucky. She is now with the Lord. Three sisters’ lives go on, more suffering to come later in their lives though. And it’s my job to lead them to the Godly path of life. They still need to fulfill the will of God in their lives.