Ten Reasons of Conflict in
† "For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.Ē (Gen.
†† Marriage is God's most
wonderful design. The joint together of a man and a woman, a husband and
wife, and lifetime commitment can provide a steady family to rear children.
However, both husband and wife have different backgrounds and lifestyles in
their growth, which will cause many conflicts. The following are the ten most
common causes of conflict between husband and wife.
Different personalities. Freely courtship of a couple attracts each other for
their difference, and creates many conflicts after marriage. For example, one
action is fast and the other is slow; one is punctual and the other is tardy;
one is money spender and the other is money saver. In fact, marriage is the
process by which two people become one person. It is necessary to adapt to each
other, and both come to the middle ground to make the difference
Unclear roles. Often mother is responsible of feeding children and sometimes
husbandís duty becomes too light, which leads to complaints and
dissatisfaction from wife. Or wife gets use to do a lot of housework and
spoils the husband who becomes idle to play games, or wastes time in
meaningless things. The couple should divide house chores equally and make
necessary adjustments according to each stage of their marriage.
Money matters. Some spouseís original family are rich and do not care about
spending money; others are more economically conscious. The difference of
using money can produce great contradictions in marriage. We should all unify
to the lessons of the Bible. For example, give tithe, try not to borrow
money, live a simple life, and be willing to help in giving.
Lack of agreement. Different views of things are common, but you must learn
to respect each other's opinions, otherwise you will create confusion for
your children and they will not understand how to obey parents. Tolerance and
acceptance are based on the principle of integration of oneness.
Bad communication. Almost all marital problems are from poor communication
between couples, or lack of deep communication. We need to learn how to
communicate. The first step is to listen to each other. We have to
communicate in clarity and honesty. Couples must spend time each day
communicating with each other to nurture their love.
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