No Excuse Sunday
“I will not reject them or abhor them…I am the Lord their God.” (Lev. 26:44)
In order to help those who have excuses not to come to worship on
Sunday, we will hold a special “No Excuse Sunday” for them.
will provide morning call for those who cannot get up on Sunday morning.
those required to work on Sunday, pastor is willing to sit down and discuss
it with your boss.
those that need to contact their Far East contacts on Sunday, wireless
internet access will be provided in the back room.
those that play tennis early Sunday morning, we have opened up the church gym
for you to come, early morning.
those that do shopping on Sundays, we will provide transportation after
church service and coupons.
those that stayed up late on the internet, we have provided a sofa for you to
those that have friends visit on Sunday, we can arrange special
transportation to pick them up. Even take them to Twin Dragons Buffet
restaurant for free.
those that have homework, we even have a teacher that can tutor you after the
those that it is hard to stay awake, we have special seating and medicine to
keep you awake and eyedrops.
those that do not like to sing hymns, we have a small CD player with
Spiritual hymns to sing for you.
those that afraid to be asked to prepare food, we can call Papa John’s and
those that are afraid that their children will make too much noise we have
computer games and if needed toddlers and babies can be at their parent’s
side, however they need silencers.
those that think the sisters at church are not pretty, we will require the
unmarried sisters to apply makeup.
those that feel that the Preacher’s message is too boring, we have supplied
personal TVs, you can watch more than 10 different sermons.
those that are sick on Sundays, we have provided doctors and nurses on site.
those that are afraid to donate offerings on Sunday, we will offer (Donation
Not Required) pass that you can wear on your chest.
Please don’t pray for this special “No Excuse Sunday”, because we
know it will succeed.